Designing a Sustainable Life as a Technology Leader

How I balance writing daily, leading at IBM, parenting teenagers, and still finding energy to grow

Over the past months, many people asked me how I manage all of this. I publish a daily article. I have my role at IBM. I am writing a book, with another one already in the pipeline. I am also a parent of two teenagers, which means I am their personal driver as well.

I don’t have a secret trick. I don’t run on more hours than everyone else. What I have is structure and discipline. I design my life like I would design a resilient architecture. Predictable parts are automated. I keep energy for the parts that need creativity and decisions.

This is not about hustle culture. It is about finding a system that works long term without burning out.

Structure and Discipline

I do many things the same way, every day. I put things back where they belong. I prepare the breakfast table in the evening. I have plan A, B, and C for lunch and dinner because schedules change.

This frees brain cycles. Repeating tasks the same way means less thinking for daily chores. It is like standardizing CI/CD pipelines. Boring but effective.

I sometimes ask myself: which parts of my life should not be optimized? A bit of chaos is needed for new ideas. As architects, we like control. But real creativity sometimes needs open space.

Remote Work as a Superpower

I say remote work, not home office. My office is where I am. I always have my phone and laptop. If something urgent happens, I can answer emails or take calls anywhere.

This flexibility is great, but it has a risk. It is easy to always be on. As leaders, we should ask ourselves: are we setting the right example for our teams? Flexibility is power, but without boundaries it can become a trap.

There is also a lot of talk about return to office. I think office work has clear advantages for some activities. Creative problem‑solving sessions, strategy workshops, or topics that need deep shared understanding can benefit from everyone being in the same room. This is especially true for new teams that are still in the forming and storming phases. Trust and relationships are harder to build when you only meet on video calls.

But going back to the office will not magically fix a low‑performing team. If a team is already in the norming or performing stage, forcing them back just for the sake of it can reduce flexibility without improving outcomes.

Global organizations make this even harder. Travel and expense budgets are often limited. It is not realistic to expect people from three continents to meet every time you start a new project. As leaders, we have to be smart about when physical meetings are worth it and when remote really works better.

Remote work is not the enemy of collaboration. It is a tool. The real skill is to decide when to use which setting.

Sleep Is Non‑Negotiable

I sleep less than a few years ago, but my sleep window is always the same. Same bedtime, same wake‑up time. No exceptions. No weekend changes. Only for emergencies or planned events.

Sleep is like observability for a system. You can ignore it for a while, but the debt will catch up.

No Alcohol

I stopped drinking more than three years ago for health reasons. It became the most effective productivity booster in my life. No lost brain cycles. No sluggish days after. Clearer thoughts. Better focus.

This is my personal choice. I do not expect others to do the same. Respecting the boundaries and decisions of other people is important to me. Everyone has their own way to unwind and recharge, and that is fine. For me, removing alcohol just turned out to be the single biggest change for my health and productivity.

Movement as System Maintenance

I discovered running and walking for myself. It is a great way to spend time with my thoughts and clear my mind. It also burns the energy that would otherwise sit idle while I am at my desk.

Movement is more than exercise. It is context switching for the brain. It creates the space for thinking deeply.

Alone Time

I enjoy conferences, conversations, and sharing my knowledge. But I also need the opposite. I need silence. Time to be alone with my own thoughts.

This is where new ideas are born. Without it, I would only run on other people’s input.

It is worth asking as a leader: do we protect deep‑work time for ourselves and for our teams? Meetings and chat do not create innovation. Focused time does.

Using AI Deliberately

I use AI every day. It helps with research, drafting, and exploring ideas. But it is not magic. Sometimes it accelerates me, sometimes it sends me the wrong way.

The best advice is to be cautious. AI does not replace thinking. It makes good thinking even more important.

For architects, this is a leadership question. How do we bring AI into our work in a way that is fast but also safe and responsible? Tools are easy to add. Culture is not.

Delegation as a Leadership Skill

I often get asked if I delegate enough. The truth is, I receive a huge number of speaking, interview, and article requests. I can’t travel that much while still managing my daily duties. So yes, I do delegate. I often reach out to friends and colleagues who have time and interest to jump in. I enjoy having extra hands when I need them, and I try to give the same support back whenever possible.

Delegation is not just a way to reduce your own workload. It is a way to empower people around you. There is an old saying that there is no “I” in “team.” That is not entirely true, but teams perform better when everyone operates at a manageable workload and no single person is drowning.

Active delegation combined with respect for each individual’s strengths and interests creates better outcomes. It spreads opportunities, it helps others grow, and it stops bottlenecks from forming around one person.

My call to leaders is simple. Encourage delegation. Make it part of your culture. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It is a sign of trust and maturity, and in the long run it makes the whole team perform better.

What I Might Still Miss

As I think about it, there are areas I could improve.

• I can work anywhere, but maybe that also means distractions can follow me anywhere.

• I have running and alone time, but do I have space for fun and play?

These are open questions for me.

We architects love to design systems that scale. The truth is, our own life needs the same thinking. We need redundancy, failover, and timeouts. Without it, we become the single point of failure in our own story.

I am curious how others design their own “life architecture.” Because if we get this right, we can lead better, build better, and stay human while doing it.